How to help set healthy boundaries in relationships

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are limits that people set to protect their emotional, physical and mental well-being. Boundaries help show what's okay and what's not okay in relationships, at work and in daily life. People might think of them as personal guidelines that make it easier to feel safe and in control of their time and energy.

Ways to approach healthy boundaries with other people

Building strong boundaries is about someone knowing their personal values, recognizing what behaviors are respectful and expressing their needs clearly. Here are ways someone might approach boundary-setting in relationships:

• Knowing what influences them. It is important for someone to pay attention to how other people impact their moods, emotions and self-worth. Healthy boundaries often start with self-awareness.
• Being honest about their needs. Examples include someone asking for help, sharing their feelings openly and expressing what's important to them in a relationship. 
• Practicing empathy. Listening with compassion doesn't mean someone has to agree with the speaker. They might respectfully disagree when needed, and that's okay.
• Deciding what's okay and what's not okay. If someone's behavior crosses a line, it's okay to say no. Saying no can protect someone's emotional health.
• Keeping their identity intact. People should continue to pursue their hobbies, interests and routines. These are part of what makes them who they are, and it may help them maintain balance in caregiving relationships.
• Working toward mutual respect. Someone can compromise when they are able, expect honesty from others and surround themselves with people who treat them the same way in return.

When to set boundaries

People can set boundaries at any time. Here are some examples of when it can be extra important:

• At the beginning of a relationship. Early in a relationship, people might share their values, routines and preferences. This can be a good time to understand their own needs and expectations, and it can create space for the relationship to grow.  
• During times of change. Life changes can be complicated. Boundaries can help people stay grounded in their lives, especially during life transitions. These changes can be as significant as moving to a new home, getting a new job or getting married.
• When feeling overwhelmed. People might feel stressed, tired, irritated, angry or like they need some quiet time. These feelings might mean they need to set boundaries to help them take care of themselves.
• After crossing a boundary. This happens when someone does something that makes a person uncomfortable. Reinforcing their boundaries can help maintain healthier relationships.

Why does setting boundaries in a relationship matter?

Boundaries may help create a cycle of care; when one person sets them, they are taking care of themselves, so they can better help to support others, while also making sure their own needs are respected. 

Boundaries are good for maintaining well-being and productivity. Setting healthy boundaries is an important way for someone to show they value themselves - they are making space for their own needs while still caring about others. As a result, their self-esteem and confidence may build up over time.

Boundaries make it easier to know what people are responsible for and what's up to the other person in their relationship. This clarity helps prevent misunderstandings and keeps people from getting caught up in relationships that feel draining or one-sided. Healthy boundaries also matter because they:

• Encourage respectful and meaningful relationships between people
• Give people the confidence to speak up when needed
• Help people stay authentic to who they are
• Protect people from being treated unfairly  
• Support personal goals while helping people connect with others empathetically

Tips on how to help set boundaries

What feels comfortable to one person might feel different to someone else, and that's okay. Here are some tips on helping to set relationship boundaries:

Understanding and reflecting needs

The first step in setting boundaries is someone understanding how they feel. Then, they can know what they personally need. If someone notices that they feel most energized after quiet solo time on weekends, they might clear their calendar on Sundays to read at home. Another person might feel at ease when they're given time to reflect before making a big decision. This can help them feel confident in how they show up in conversations.

Talking openly

Everyone has the right to change their mind about what their boundaries are. Talking openly helps people understand each other. Using "I feel" statements may help people manage their emotions and communicate with others. This phrasing may help them feel less defensive and more collaborative during conversations. Using "I" statements can also help people share their feelings without assigning blame.

Being consistent

Sticking to boundaries shows other people what kind of values are important to someone. For example, setting aside an hour every day to exercise demonstrates a commitment to self-care. Consistency is key for successfully enforcing rules within family dynamics as well, which is a principle that applies to personal boundaries. When boundaries are upheld reliably, they create a sense of predictability and reinforce the importance of the values they represent.

Saying no

Saying no can often be a way of saying yes to what matters most. When people say no to something, they are making space for things like rest, a school project or spending time with people they care about. When people are comfortable saying no, they may experience less stress, and it may help them develop better time-management skills.

Safer sexual health practices

Setting limits around sexual health is important for helping someone feel safe and respected. These limits can include using protection during sex or discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) screening. It can also mean choosing what personal information feels okay to share with other people.

For an STI screening, consult with a health care provider or programe una cita en una tienda MinuteClinic.

Protecting personal space, belongings and information

Everyone deserves to feel in control of their personal space, belongings and information. This might involve keeping specific topics private or not sharing passwords to accounts. People can also set limits on who enters their personal space or uses their belongings.

Re-evaluating boundaries with mindfulness 

Llevar un diario can help people confirm if their existing boundaries are working, and mindfulness can help to increase people's awareness of their emotions. It is important to adjust boundaries as needed to maintain healthier relationships.

Consideraciones clave

Boundaries may help people feel safe, respected and balanced in all kinds of relationships. Understanding what brings someone joy can help them set limits that protect those experiences. Saying no or asking for space can be a healthy way to safeguard their time, energy and well-being. Instead of dividing people, consistent boundaries can help build healthier connections with others and a deeper sense of self.

Este contenido es solo para fines informativos y no constituye un asesoramiento médico. Consult your health care provider before taking any vitamins or supplements and prior to beginning or changing any health care practices.